Happy Birthday Claudia

Claudia would have been 64 today.  I thought it would be a good time to share this wonderful poem Maggie Belisle wrote for Claudia on her birthday back in 2003.  Happy Birthday, dear Claudia.  Missing you especially today, and every day.

she is my sister

the woman i discovered

by surprise

she is a writer

and like wounded

by observation

sensitivity

and gifted

perceptions

she is deep

a cool mountain spring

quietly

bubbling forth

from the rocks

in the

Pennsylvania hillsides-

a welcome refreshment

to the astonishment

of weary fellow pilgrims

she is my friend

a sister-mother

a confidant and guru

to help me thru

these uncharted courses

i have chosen to take

she is wise

and more careful

than i

in so many ways-

my reckless restless

heart amazes her

in it’s truth

and it’s struggles

in it’s

yearning

to be free

and

known

but more than this

she is safety

and she is love

and she is home

for cloudy

on her birthday

8-14-3

maggie belisle

lewisburg, pa

Thinking of You, and then some

I remember when I first started working at my former job that a co-worker of mine was experiencing a lot of loss. One cousin lost his life in a storm, some elders were passing on, her husband's best friend passed in an unfortunate home repair task. I didn't know how she was coping. But she was. Sometimes it seems that when loss comes, too much of it comes. I know this was true of me and most likely my husband when we were younger, he lost his mother to MS as a teenager, a good friend passed in a restaurant fire, grandparents passed on. With me after my mother passed on, I lost a friend who was like a mother for me, and I lost some friendships, friends that were more interested in being competitive with me than being there for me at the time, and I lost beloved family pets due to old age, lost a boyfriend or two when I craved stability. Such situations can make one anticipating when the other shoe will drop, which is an awful mental exercise to experience.

Things got much better for my co-worker, her family has expanded to daughter marriages and grand-kids. My husband and I eventually found each other, his business has brought him many friends and I too have moved on.

My co-worker friend told me soon after her husband's best friend's death, she, her husband and other friends of the gentleman who passed on, were dining out talking about missing their good friend "Pete".  All of a sudden, Pete's favorite song came over the restaurant sound system and they all froze, then smiled. Was their dear friend letting his presence be known? Who knows, but it had a healing effect on all of them.

My sister Claudia's untimely passing has been so hard to come to grips with. For my husband and I it's worrying about her husband and knowing from past experience, after loss, life can feel awfully chaotic, if not be chaotic. I was thinking about this the other day while going upstairs, on a shelf by our stairwell I have some battery operated lights that don't work, I happened to look at one of my wedding photos of Claudia and my co-Maid of Honor at the beach where we were married. All of a sudden the battery lights started blinking.

I don't wish to project my own assumption of this unique happenstance, but I do hope that there is such a thing as visitations from passed loved ones that could offer a feeling of hope, and peace to those of us left behind.

Claudia's birthday would've been tomorrow. For those of us missing her, I hope we all can seek comfort and peace as time goes by, through remembering the good times we enjoyed while she was here. Also to treasure her memory by celebrating something she loved, cooking, organic gardening, reading and writing. Claudia in particular connected to people through her love of reading, for those reading this blog, by all means feel free to add a Claudia memory or share a book you've just read, or a recipe or garden photo here, and I'll let you know if those battery lights start blinking again.